It isn't all napping on the couch and not washing our hair for days. True, our parents try once every two weeks to give us that talk about 'being adult,' and most of our friends have stopped even bothering to ask what we're doing this weekend. But there are occasionally advantages to being an inactive member of Slackerville.
After working in a few restaurants during college, I developed a habit of smoking socially. I think it mostly happened for two reasons. Reason 1: when left with few tables to attend to, the smokers always got smoking breaks, whereas the non-smokers were asked to clean out the dessert cooler. Bugger that. I'll develop any habit to throw the cleaning at someone else. Reason 2: that post shift drink with your fellow servers always unravels into hours of drinking at the bar down the street from where you work but is blissfully not where you work. After the third round of free shots, (the bartender likes his regulars) you are chided into having a smoke with your fellow slackers, I mean servers.
I know, smoking is bad. But it gets you out of work and is something to share after getting out of work. After finishing college I moved abroad. A place where smoking was not only allowed in all restaurants and bars, but practically encouraged. The first few weeks I smoked while I ate, while I shopped, while I walked, while I waited for buses and in between classes. After a month my roommate and I found our fabulous 43rd story apartment in Tai Kok Tsui. I had a ten minute morning walk from our complex to the MTR station. Perfect timing for a morning cigarette. And plus, walking is healthy so it effectively cancels out the negatives associated with smoking.
I was never one to smoke inside my house or apartment. I guess I never really was that hardcore. So if I was at home and wanted to smoke I took the elevator downstairs. Yeah, that got old after about a week.
Once I was home for the day, I was home. Going all the way down was such a pain in the ass. I needed to remember my wallet that had my building pass in it so I could get back in. I needed my phone so I could call someone while I smoked. During the rainy season I had to take an umbrella that would inevitably be turned inside out mid-smoke. Smoking had suddenly turned into work. Sure I still had weekends. The bars and clubs were full of smoking people. Honestly, I felt like such an ex-pat while dancing with a drink and a cig. I even got my roommate to smoke one once. It was one of my secret goals. My other was to be around for her to throw up from drinking too much. Seriously, the girl got through university never having been sick. I think she was my only friend that could claim that. But that dream was not realized until we both lived in other countries. Sigh.
Anyway, slacking was actually a benefit. If I was a more active, energy-filled person I'd have thought nothing about jumping in the elevator and taking a little ride downstairs not just once but possibly multiple times a night.
So in essence, my lack of direction and lack of will to find one, has made me a more healthy human being.

You'd think since Jen Why slackers aren't out on weekends playing on a coed soccer team for people that used to good in high school and college, or playing epic games of frisbee with their chocolate labs, or learning conversational Spanish, or even cleaning their bathroom-they'd be injury free. No bruises or sore muscles. No minor sprains or tight hamstrings. And absolutely no achy back, superficial abrasions or broken bones.
Somehow I managed to turn my right shoulder into a cess pool of pain and agony. Well, okay, I know exactly how it happened. I ordered a movie On Demand. I was pretty stoked. It was one I've wanted to see since it first came out but never made it to the theatre. One of my favorite actors was nominated for an Oscar for his role in the film. So I embarked on a 24 hour furlough with 'Eastern Promises.'
I turned my phone off-no one would really need to talk to me for the next two hours. I turned off the overhead light to make it more like a movie theatre. And my bowl of popcorn was centered on my coffee table.
The film monopolized my attention within less than seven minutes. I leaned to the right, resting my arm on the armrest of my couch (futon), and eased my head down on my shoulder. Approximately an hour and 45 minutes later as the credits ran, I had the impulse to, I'd know, change the channel, go to the bathroom, grab a few kernels of my largely untouched popcorn. Whatever I thought I might do was curtailed by the inability to move my right arm. Followed a few seconds later by a faint twinge of control over my own muscles, trailed by the stabbing pain that came with trying to crack my arm and shoulder muscles out of atrophy.
A full 48 hours later I still don't have a full range of motion. It wakes me up when I roll over onto it at night. I don't see it getting better anytime soon. This weekend I'll have to cancel all my extracurricular activities, stay home and rent On Demand. Oh, wait...

Generation X: Approximately, those born between 1964-1981.
MTV Generation: Approximately, those born between 1975-1985. Also known as the XY Cusp.
Generation Y: Approximately, those born between 1980-1994.

It seems like every few months I run across a newspaper or magazine article, or see/hear a news/radio broadcast that explores one of two things.
1) Gen X/MTV/Y is going to save the world.
2) Gen X/MTV/Y is running the earth into ruin.

So which is it? Save or ruin? Salvage or destroy? Unshackle or implant ID chips?

Dude, we're too fucking lazy to do any of that. I couldn't even think of any synonyms for the word 'save.' I had to use thesaurus.com.
Born in the last quarter of 1980 I take a passive offense at being pushed in Gen X. No way am I in any way like anyone born in the mid '60s. Those people are married with two to four kids, a mortgage, an SUV, a sedan, jobs they'll never love, spring break in Orlando (Disney), three day weekends at the lake, ethnic dinner club with neighbors, minor plastic surgery, gyms with individual televisions on each bike, elliptical, stair climber and treadmill, kitchen islands, 42-50 inch flat screens and soft core On Demand. In general.
The MTV/XY Cusp doesn't really work for me either. On a personal note, my parents refused to get cable throughout my entire childhood, teens and early to mid 20s. Actually, they got cable installed for the first time four months ago. My Mom likes HG TV and my Dad likes Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.
So I choose to be part of Gen Y. Or, Jen Why. Which brings me to the title of this blog. I'll break it down. The spin on the cultural term actually comes from one of my favorite original television series ever, 'Wonderfalls.' Episode three: Karma Chameleon, original air date 3.19.2004. Watch it; you won't be sorry. It's a small fraction of the genius that is Bryan Fuller. Other brilliance from Fuller include 'Dead Like Me' and 'Pushing Daisies.' (I'm trying to give as much credit as possible. I have some inkling that it may be plagiarism or copyright infringement, but I'm too lazy to check it out. Hence the plug for his shows which you can get on DVD and the praise for Bryan Fuller. Have I mentioned that he's also incredibly great looking? And a creative inspiration?) The Jen portion has special meaning to me because it's part of my first name. The Why pretty much sums up the rest. If you don't understand you're either too old or too young. Or you're a traitor to Jen Why.
Some common characteristics of Jen Whyers.
*We're educated. Usually by traditional means and a collection of non-traditional means. We'll read everything and become easily outraged about any kind of injustice. But can't manage to even donate money over the Internet. Mostly because we're either lingering in college and don't have money or we're under employed and don't have money.
*In a reaction to our under employment, we frequently use the word 'whatever' in response to our boss' retreating back after they've instructed us to do something incredibly counter productive. And then we do it.
*Our parents secretly worry that we're not getting married and starting a family before age 30, except they're not very secretive about it.
*We do have a few friends that have gotten married and have started having babies before age 30. We love them but they totally freak us out with their sleeping schedules and cookouts with religious neighbors.
*We used to go out a lot, but now find clubs full of underagers and martini bars full of rich people who are probably republicans. So we take solace in either drinking alone at home or frequenting dive bars. The former affording limitless consumption and the former providing limitless consumption (like Russ the 35ish bartender who lives over the bar would ever cut you off or charge you full price). Yeah, I'll have another rail G and T.
*We also have grand dreams about what our lives will be like in the future. We've had them since high school. Then, we thought our dreams would start to come together in college. In college we thought it would all happen when we graduated. Now that we're a few years past our bachelors degree, it's got to be coming in our late twenties-early thirties.
*We're often awake at 3:00am.
*At 4:00am we check out the requirements for applying for law school. Ooh, there's an exam you have to take. That seems like a lot of work.
*At 4:12am we buy something on Amazon with a credit card because our checking account only has $17 in it. We could wait a few hours and just go to Borders, but there's no guaranty they'll have it in stock, and this way it just comes right to us. Because of course we've paid extra for the overnight shipping.
So to address the rest of this blog title. The part about the uniting. If Jen Whyers wanted to, we could solve that whole debacle in the Middle East, remedy Africa's starvation and genocide, eliminate the need for gas, halt if not reverse global warming and end illiteracy. Just throwing out a few of the big ones.
Except there's a problem. We're either hungover or still sleeping off the four Red Bulls we drank the night before. Disentangling and enlightening the world is an activity that has to start early in the day (thank you again, thesaurus.com). Slogging out of bed or off the couch at 2:00pm; all we want is some mac and cheese and an E! True Hollywood Story about some hot mess celebutante. By the time we're re-hydrated, it's like 4:00pm and we're thinking about dinner. No one's changing the world while famished. Hence the ...what? We had good intentions but got distracted by not furthering our lives.
If you identify-awesome. Rad. I knew you were out there. If you think I'm an underachieving slacker that needs to sober and shape up...whatever.